Maximum Ride Halloween Special
by flYegurl
Summary: It's Halloween, and the flock is out for candy. Max's plan is to 'divide and conquer'. What will happen when the flock separates for maximum candy-getting capacity? Shinanigans and hilarity, that's what.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride**

Halloween was an interesting affair. The flock had never heard of it up in their discrete little E-shaped house in the mountains, but after finally coming down… well, they were introduced to the magic that was Halloween.

Little kids, tramping down the dark streets of Colorado, dressed up as monsters and fairy princesses and angels and dragons and assorted animals, all happy and cheering.

Of course, the magic of it, thought the flock, was the whole fact that they could just walk up to a stranger's house and get _free candy_. Now, isn't that some sort of miracle? Such a wonderful, magical night.

So the instant they learned of this, Max dragged the other five instantly to Wal*Mart to purchase costumes. Now the six of them stood, fully dressed in their Halloween outfits, each clutching a large trash-bag in hand.

"Okay," Max started, staring at a map she had of the local streets. "We must divide and conquer if we wish to recover the maximum candy capacity." She bent and squinted, poring over the map. Then she jabbed her pointer finger at a cluster of streets.

"These streets are mostly filled with older people. Angel, Gazzy, I'd like you to take them out. Look you're cutest. I'm sure it won't be a problem filling your bags. Act pitiful, make up stories about cruel parents, little food, blah blah blah. Got that?"

Angel, who was dressed as an Angel with a fluffy white tutu and golden halo, her own wings sticking out of slits cut in the back, nodded and bounced excitedly. Gazzy, decked as a turtle, complete with green-scaled shell, saluted.

"Right then. Take off. Meet back here in two hours. I want those bags filled, you hear?"

"YES MA'AM!" the two of them chorused, clutching their bags and rushing off in the direction of their designated streets.

"Okay. Iggy, Fang, these streets are mostly filled with hormonal teenage girls. I'm sure they'd just love to give you two candy. You go there." She held out the map to show the streets in question to Fang, who nodded.

"Got it, Max. Back in two hours. C'mon, Iggs."

The two of them walked off, Iggy following at his side. Max nodded approvingly after them; any teenage girl in her right mind, who wasn't lesbian, would squeal madly over the two teen boys.

Fang was dressed in his traditional black; a tight black sleeveless top that showed off his biceps, and baggy black cargo pants. His hair had been mussed and slightly spiked, dark circles drawn around his eyes. Two floppy dog ears poked out of his thick hair, and around his neck was a studded dog collar. From the collar extended a silver chain, which connected at the other end to a studded black bracelet around Iggy's wrist. On Fang's shirt was printed 'SEEING-EYE DOG'.

Iggy's costume was basically a normal outfit; tight blue skinny-jeans, an uncharacteristically black long-sleeved button-up shirt that had been, strategically, left open, clearly exposing his toned chest and abs. His bangs were flopping in his face more so than usual, and Max had skillfully wrapped gauze bandages around his eyes. Face it, the two looked hot.

"That leaves these streets to us," Max finished to Nudge.

"Why us?" Nudge asked, looking over Max's shoulder at the map.

"College boys."

Nudge grinned. She was wearing a tight-fitting tank-top that ended above her navel and a short pleated skirt that finished midway down her thighs. Here hair was in high pigtails, and in each hand she had a pom-pom. She was dressed as a cheerleader.

"Make's sense," she agreed, and set off to the streets with Max.

Max was dressed in a white nurse's outfit that was quite tight around her breasts, and the skirt was shorter than Nudge's. A nurse's cap rested amongst her blonde-streaked locks. It was an outfit that she would normally never wear, under any condition; but free candy demanded sacrifice. And Max was willing to sacrifice.

**Angel and Gazzy's Story**

Angel and Gazzy held hands as they skipped down the streets. They tried to look as cute as possible, which wasn't very hard seeing as all mutant bird-kids are abnormally cute/hot.

"So, how do we trick-or-treat?" Gazzy asked Angel, looking around at the other kids walking around in costumes.

"Well," Angel started, "we walk up to people's houses if they have their lights on. Then we knock on the door or ring the doorbell. Then we say 'trick or treat!' and they give us candy!"

"Okay then," Gazzy replied. "What about that house?" He gestured to a house totally decked with Halloween lights.

"Okay!" Angel agreed, and the two of them turned to walk up the walkway to the door.

Angel stood on her tiptoes to reach the doorbell. Then the two of them waited for a long moment.

"What's taking so long?" Gazzy whined, rocking back and forth. Angel stood there, staring at the door.

"They're coming! Be patient!" she chided, and the Gasman huffed into silence.

In another minute, the door opened and a lovely old woman stood in the doorway with a bowl of candy.

"Well aren't you two just adorable!" she gasped, putting her hand to her mouth.

"Trick or treat!" Gazzy and Angel responded, singing out and smiling, holding out there bags.

"Aw!" the lady said, her hand now at her heart. "Well, here you go. Please take one."

Angel and Gazzy stared into the bowl and frowned. They didn't want one. They wanted all of it.

Angel looked up at the lady, concentrating fiercely.

"You think we are adorable. You want us to be your children. You give us all of your candy."

The lady stared wide-eyed at Angel for a moment, then spoke up.

"On second thought, take all of it!" she said, pouring the bowl into Angel's bag. "I hope to see you next year!"

Angel and Gazzy skipped off away from the house, and heard the lady say to the next children that approached her "Sorry kids, I have no more candy!" and shut the door.

"That was awesome, Ange!" the Gasman cheered, pumping his fist in the air. "I forgot you had mind control to use! We'll get these bags filled in no time with that!"

"Yup!" Angel agreed, skipping along. "I used _tons _of power, then! I think I must have projected it to all the people on this street! I won't even have to do it again! They'll just subconsciously give us their candy!"

"Cool," Gazzy responded. "Now let's go!"

The two of them hurried up the walkway to the next house. The person who opened the door was another lovely old lady, who gasped and smiled.

"Well, you two are just… just the most adorable… here, take all my candy!"

Angel and Gazzy gladly accepted the candy and turned to leave, but were stopped by a hand on their shoulders.

"Wait! Children, I… I…" the woman stuttered, staring into their eyes.

"Children!" another voice called from behind them, and they both turned to see the woman from the previous house walking up the walkway, clutching her bathrobe. "Wait! Children, come back!"

"No!" the woman holding Gazzy and Angel's shoulders protested. "These are mine! Children, wouldn't you like to become mine? I could easily adopt you, my husband is a lawyer…"

"What?" Gazzy asked, looking nervous. Suddenly_, _the doors of all the houses on the neighborhood opened and out rushed old men and women, all bearing bowls full of candy.

"CHILDREN!" they called. "COME TO ME! HERE, TAKE ALL MY CANDY! I WILL MAKE A WONDERFUL PARENT!"

Gazzy and Angel witnessed this all with wide eyes.

"Uh…" Gazzy started, "Angel, I think your mind control was a little too powerful…"

"So, what do we do now?" Angel asked, a frightened look in her eyes.

"Run!" Gazzy shouted, and the two sprinted away from the porch they were standing on and down the street.

"But Gazzy, the candy!" Angel reminded him, huffing for breath.

"Oh, right! Get the candy, then we're out of here!"

With Angel's wings out, she could jump really high. She leapt over to an old man with a bowl full of Reeses, Snickers and Smarties, taking the candy. Gazzy took several bowls from a cluster of old women with caramels and other assorted chocolates.

Then, after filling their bags, they booked it out of there, a mob of old people parading after them, each begging to adopt them.

"This was weird!" Gazzy told Angel.

"Whatever! Just lose them on the way to Wal*Mart!"

Then the two continued charging down the streets, bags full of candy flailing behind them.

**Iggy and Fang's Story**

"The bandages feel weird around my eyes," Iggy whined as he and Fang walked down the streets.

"Bear with it," Fang responded, not feeling all that comfortable leading Iggy along like a seeing-eye dog. "It's not like they impair your vision."

If Iggy's eyes had been uncovered, Fang would have seen him roll them. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. On with the trick-or-treating."

They walked up to the first house and rang the doorbell. Within a minute, a girl that looked about fourteen opened the door dressed as a witch. When her eyes fell upon the two boys, her mouth dropped open. Fang could have sworn she started drooling.

"H-h-hello," the girl stuttered.

"Hey," Fang answered, feeling totally stupid.

"Uh, what do you want?" the girl then asked, her eyes flicking hungrily from Fang to Iggy, as if deciding which of them would be more… appetizing.

"Candy," Iggy answered, smirking and stuffing his hands into his pockets, in the process surreptitiously moving his shirt further from himself and exposing more of his chest. The girl just about started hyperventilating.

"Oh! Okay, here," the girl responded, noticing the bowl of chocolate held in her hands and proceeding to dazedly shovel handfuls into the boys' bags. "Uh, wh-what are your names?"

Iggy grinned sheepishly and reached up to muss his hair with his hand in a way that made the girl suck in a breath. Fang wondered vaguely where the heck Iggy had learned the skills to make girls act freaking hormonal-crazed.

"That," he said in a soft, almost shy-sounding voice, "is a secret. Sorry."

"Oh! Oh no, that's okay!" the girl answered to his apology, looking aghast. "I'm sorry for asking! That was rude of me! Um, happy Halloween! Uh, have fun!" Then she turned and hurriedly shut the door. Probably to faint.

As they retreated back to the sidewalk, Fang stared, intrigued, at Iggy.

"What?" Iggy asked, annoyed, turning to Fang.

"How did you do that?" Fang asked.

"Do what?"

"Uh, what you did. To that girl."

Iggy grinned mischievously, and Fang almost regretted asking.

"Just keep a couple simply rules in mind, Fangy-boy," Iggy started. "One: play your strengths. Two: act the part."

Fang paused, staring at Iggy as they stood on the sidewalk.

"What?"

Iggy sighed and shook his head.

"Fang, Fang. You are a silent, moody type of guy, yeah? So, play your strengths. Act emo and stuff. Girls fall all over those silent-but-strong kinds of guys. Act the part. Be moody and emo and stuff. The girls won't be able to keep their eyes off you."

"Uh, so how did you do… what you did?" Fang asked Iggy. Iggy laughed.

"I'm blind, but I'm a trouble-maker, in a nutshell. Right?"

"I guess," Fang answered, wondering where this was going.

"So," Iggy continued, "I play shy, but _bad_, if you know what I mean. Like, a sort of I'm-shy-and-I-am-really-sort-of-nervous-doing-this-sort-of-thing, but-I-try-my-best-to-be-normal-and-crack-jokes-and-act-out-going-and-funny kind of personality. That's what I play. My strengths. Then I act the part."

"And make the girls drool over you?"

"Pretty much. Now, let's see how good you do it. Next house."

The two boys walked up to the door of the next house and rang the doorbell. This time, three girls that looked about fifteen answered, then paused, gaping, at the two boys. Iggy hung back a little.

"Well, hi," one of the girls spoke up, still staring.

Fang tried to remember what Iggy had taught him. _One: play your strengths_.

Fang looked at the girls, peering moodily through his heavy black bangs. He then lifted a corner of his mouth in a half-smile, and two of the girls' faces turned red.

"Hey. Can I have some candy?" Fang asked in a dark, mysterious voice.

"Uh, s-sure," the girls, stuttered, and reached into their bowls, taking out handfuls of candy to empty into their bags.

"Thanks. You girls are… great," Fang thanked, turning and leading Iggy back down to the sidewalk.

"Good one, bro," Iggy congratulated, smacking Fang a high-five. On to the next house.

When they once again rang the doorbell, it took a little longer for someone to answer it. But when it was answered, Fang and Iggy were in for a surprise.

It was about twenty teen girls, all in their pajamas, carrying bowls of chocolate. They took one look at the boys and giggled.

"Hey," Fang spoke up. "Do you think you could spare us some candy?"

One of the girls giggled again and spoke up. "Your friend… isn't it hard for him to see?"

Iggy put a sort of shy-but-strong look on his face and answered.

"Well, it doesn't exactly make a difference. I really am blind, you see."

"Awwwww," a bunch of the girls sighed in sympathy. "Poor thing!"

"Hey, why don't we invite them in?"

"Yeah! We've got lots of candy inside!"

"That would be really cool," Fang answered, accepting. The girls opened the door wider. Some of them were blushing, all were giggling hyper-ly.

"Okay! Come in."

Fang led Iggy through the door, and the two of them stood awkwardly in the ante-room.

The second Fang was in the house, he knew it had been a bad idea. First off, Max was always warning them about the dangers of entering stranger's houses. Secondly, this was a stranger's house full of teenage girls. Third of all, they were all staring rather hungrily at the two of them.

"Uh," Iggy started. "Where's the candy?"

"Let's unwrap them!" the girls cheered, and suddenly the two of them were swarmed with girls.

Now, Fang and Iggy both have exceptional strength. But when a mutant bird-boy is attacked by hordes of rather attractive teenage girls, they are surprised and shocked enough to lose the basic motor functions needed to protest, fight back, or do absolutely anything.

That is why, moments later, Fang and Iggy were sitting dazedly in the middle of a living room, surrounded by a circle of laughing girls, and wearing nothing but their boxers. The collar and 'leash' had bee removed from around Fang's neck and Iggy's wrist, and the gauze around Iggy's eyes was askew.

"What are we doing, again?" Iggy asked, slurring his words.

"I dunno," Fang answered sluggishly, still remembering all the warm female bodies swarming over him and removing his clothes.

"Do you still want your candy?" one of the girls asked, holding up each of their bags, which were now full of chocolate; they had been filled by the girls.

Iggy looked over towards her. "Uh, yeah," he answered.

"Okay then!" She smiled, handing them the bags. "Now, you should probably leave. My parents will be home soon."

A few minutes later, Fang and Iggy were each holding their bags of candy, still only in their boxers, on the girl's front porch.

"That was… interesting," Iggy said, rubbing the back of his head and shivering slightly at the chill air.

"Yeah," Fang agreed. "It was… interesting."

Then they headed towards Wal*Mart. As they walked, girls looked out their windows at the two smoking-hot teenage boys in their underwear, giggling madly and blushing.

Max was going to be mad.

**Max and Nudge's Story**

"Okay then," Max stated, gazing down the street. Kids in costumes were walking along, guided by their parents. College boys sat on their doorsteps or on their driveway or lawn, talking and joking, drinking and eating, and handing out candy. Max nervously pulled her skirt lower. She felt really exposed.

But it was for the good of the whole. Candy, after all, was a rare luxury. If she was going to get it for free, well, then…

"Which house first?" Nudge asked her, looking excited. She looked absolutely adorable, gorgeous, in her costume. Max was pretty sure they both looked sexy.

"Uh, that one," Max answered, gesturing towards a house with six guys out on their driveway around a bonfire.

Taking a deep breath, Max walked lithely down the sidewalk and up to the boys. The six of them took in her and Nudge's body appreciatively, and Max struggled, readying herself for what she knew she had to do.

"Trick or treat," she spoke up, saying it with a sweet look on her face. The college boys looked at each other and laughed.

"Got any treats for us?" one of them asked, staring towards Nudge. Nudge smiled, smacking her lips and fluttering her eyelashes.

"Only tricks," she answered, voice like sugar. She leaned on one foot and put her hands to her hips.

"Aw," Max then said, leaning forward, sticking out her bottom lip in a pout. "No candy for us?"

The boys stared at each of them, gaping, gulping at the air and looking like fishes.

"Here," one of them said, holding out the bowl. "Take as much as you like."

Nudge and Max walked away from that house with bags already loaded with candy. Each of them smiled at each other and slapped a high-five.

"I wonder how the others are doing?" Nudge said out loud as they walked towards the next house.

"I wouldn't underestimate them. Whichever way you look at it, Angel and Gazzy are the cutest kids ever and Iggy and Fang are total hotties. I bet they're doing just fine."

The next house had three boys sitting on their porch with candy, staring at them. These boys looked pretty much like your typical nerds; big glasses, braces probably really smart and stuff.

"Hey, boys. Mind sharing your candy?" Nudge asked, picking at the hem of her short, short skirt.

"Uh… n-n-no p-p-p-problem," one of them said, staring at Nudge's chest. The other one's eyes traced along the length of my legs. I struggled not to punch him out for so obviously being sexist. But what the hey; free candy, right?

After we had gone through the neighborhood, each of us had our bags full of candies and chocolate. We grinned at each-other.

"Wanna head back to Wal*Mart now?" I asked.

"Sure," Nudge answered.

So we walked down the streets, past kids who's parents looked at us disapprovingly, and to the store where everything had started.

There, we found Angel and Gazzy looking tired and worn-out with their hair messed up and lipstick-lips all over their faces, Iggy and Fang standing their, looking quite out-of-it in nothing but their boxers, and a group of little kids who were all staring at them with wide, wide eyes.

"Uh," Fang said.

"Yeah," Iggy responded.

"Hi, Max," Angel spoke softly.

"Hey, Nudge," the Gasman added. We both stared at them. Then looked at ourselves.

Then we all flew home and pigged out on candy until we got sick.

There's still more left. We think it will last half a year.

And that's taking into account our mutant appetites.


End file.
